


(a podcast about sex) and the city

by t_hens



Series: reddie [20]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: (mandela effect theme music), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Background Mike/Bill, M/M, Mutual Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Strangers to Lovers, background bev/ben, eventual stan/patty, or sex in the city, ridiculous amounts of sexual tension, thinly veiled references to sex and the city
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:21:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25290808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_hens/pseuds/t_hens
Summary: Richie's life is pretty great.he runs his own podcast, his friends are fantastic and his sex life is thriving. he even has sponsorship offers!which brings him to the law office of Kaspbrak & Blum, where he and his agent Stan, find a lot more than the legal advice they were looking for.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: reddie [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534337
Comments: 5
Kudos: 79





	(a podcast about sex) and the city

**Author's Note:**

> my wife made me watch sex and the city (in the city) and while I complained the whole time, part of me gets why there's a cultural thing around it. I wanted to give it a modern Loser makeover, so this is my attempt to make it a little bit more bearable. watching the show is not necessary to read this, I don't believe there are any references you'd be missing. 
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> edit: omfg bad friend alert!!! huge ty to Moody for getting me through writing this bc I would have giving up to paragraphs in and only continued bc of her sweet comments and gentle encouragements <3

Richie shut his laptop with a click and scrambled around his apartment to grab his keys, wallet and phone as quickly as he could, all while trying to call for a cab. He and his group of friends had had the same standing breakfast date at a diner in midtown as close to in the middle to everyone’s place as possible since they’d first moved there, almost a decade ago.

There had only been about four times in total he’d been on time, so he knew it wasn’t _that_ big of a deal, but he knew that Stan hated it when he was late, and while he truly believed that irritating his friend was one of his main missions in life, it was only fun when Richie actually got to enjoy it, and his idea of fun was not missing out on the most important meal of the day.

-

“It’s about time!” Stan complained as Richie sat himself down at their usual table.

“I’m only–” Richie glanced at his watch, “Twenty minutes late. That’s not even that bad. It’s not my fault the L train is down.”

“Didn’t you take an Uber?” Ben asked, eyes too bright and awake for eight in the morning on a Monday.

Everyone at the table erupted in laughter except for Stan, who rolled his eyes and applied the cream cheese to his bagel a little more aggressively than usual.

“So what _really_ took you so long to get here?” Bev asked as she stole a bite of bacon off of Bill’s plate, who was too busy making eyes at Mike to even notice.

Richie dug into the plate of food they’d ordered ahead for him and shrugged, choosing to finish chewing his bite before speaking, lest he give Stan a coronary.

“I had to finish recording. I played the show back and that bit where I talked about the prostate vibrator sounded a bit flat.”

“Guys,” Mike gently admonished, his dark skin warming with a pretty pink flush, “Do we have to talk about your sex podcast at breakfast?” 

“It’s not a _sex_ podcast Micycle, it’s a podcast about _sexual experiences_ ,” he said, exaggerating the words to make Mike flush a little darker.

“How is that any different?” Bill snorted, finally batting Bev away from his food to start eating.

“Because I talk about people I’ve slept with and relationships, but also toys and good lubes and stuff.”

“You do segments about safe sex and where to get safely and privately tested and safety tips; that kind of stuff too,” Bev added, like a proud parent who’s child just won first prize at the science fair.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Mike told him contritely, but Richie was already winking and nudging elbows with him.

“Don’t sweat it. Now Staniel, darling, love of my life, what do we have planned today?” He finished the last of his breakfast and reached for the rest of Ben’s.

Stan pulled out his special binder he kept just especially for managing Richie, even though the three other people he managed could all be done on his phone. Bastard sure knew how to make a point.

“For today we just have to see that lawyer about looking over those sponsorship contracts. He said we could come by this morning. I figured we could go when we're done here, then the rest of the day is clear. Tomorrow though, you have that interview with Buzzfeed. They sent you the list of questions they’re gonna ask you, have you looked them over?”

He shook his head, mouth full of egg and Stan rolled his eyes again. “God. Please promise me you will at least _read_ the fucking email before the interview? I don’t want another Cosmopolitan dilemma on our hands.”

“Hey, that wasn’t my fault!”

Stan opened his mouth to reply but Bev cut him off.

“You guys! I have news!”

Everyone turned their attention to her and she clasped Ben’s hand and smiled wide. “We got the apartment!”

“That’s so awesome! When do you guys get to move in?” Bill asked. He tore his eyes away from Mike but it looked like he was already itching to move them back.

“First of the month. Which is perfect since that is when our lease is up. Perfect timing!” Ben gushed, cheeks flushed with happiness. His eyes locked with hers and it felt almost inappropriate to watch them stare at each other, it was so obvious they were in love. 

“I’m so fucking jealous. That apartment was incredible,” Stan told them as he sipped his coffee morosely. 

“Oh cheer up Stan,” Richie said, slinging his arm around him, nearly spilling scalding coffee over both of them in the process, “You get to spend the morning with _me_ at a fancy _lawyer’s_ office. What could be better?!”

“Death,” he said, but there was a tiny pull in the corner of his lip and Richie counted that as a victory.

-

The lawyer’s office actually was pretty fancy. The carpets looked soft and Richie had to wring his fingers to keep himself from touching it, not wanting a lecture about all the feet that had been walking on them and the bacteria and blah, blah, blah.

A fish tank bubbled in the wall across from them and Richie whispered inappropriate names to Stan to get him to laugh while they waited. He was only successful a few times but that was still better than usual. 

When it was time for their appointment, they were taken to a neatly kept conference room and greeted by a man and women in smart business clothes.

The man instantly had Richie’s attention. He was a good five inches shorter than Richie, but he looked strong and lean - absolutely mouthwatering. His dark hair was carefully combed and gelled back, almost the same shade as his eyes, which were already furrowed uncertainly at Richie.

“Mr Tozier?” The man asked, thrusting his hand forward to shake.

Richie stared at it for a second before clasping it in his own. It felt like a cliche even as he thought it, but he was sure he felt a zing, a shock, or a _something_ pass between them when they touched, but he couldn’t be sure because the man was ripping his hand away, mouth just slightly parted. A pink tongue swiped across his lip and Richie absolutely _ached_ to follow its path. 

God. He needed a distraction or he was going to get a boner and get sued.

“Stan!” He yelled, startling everyone in the room. “This is my agent, Stan. Also best friend, partner in crime, lover of birds and all things sarcastic.”

“Jesus, Richie, tone it down,” Stan told him, blushing.

Thankfully, the woman stepped forward and offered her hand for Stan to shake, “I’m Patricia Blum. When I was in the Brownies I got a bird watching badge,” she told him and his cheeks flushed. 

“Our town was too small for that but I think I would have gotten a boy scout badge,” Stan replied, smiling shyly before glancing back and seemingly remembering that they were not in fact alone. 

“Oh, shit, I mean, sorry. Uh, this is Richie,” Stan said, gesturing to Richie, whose eyes immediately found the man’s again and instantly straightened his spine.

“Edward Kaspbrak,” the man said. He shook Stan’s hand and Richie and Patricia exchanged the gesture. 

“Okay, let’s get down to business,” Patricia said, gesturing for everyone to sit down.

-

All in all, the meeting was mostly painless. Eddie and Patty - they’d ended up insisting they call them a few minutes in the meeting - were both smart and witty, and seemed to be a perfectly balanced team. Eddie was more serious and straight faced, but when he laughed or smiled, Richie felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest. Patty was cheery and bright but had a sharp tongue and it was easy to tell Stan was instantly smitten. Though, Richie wasn’t really one to talk.

When leaving, everyone shook hands again and Eddie hesitated before touching Richie’s hand, but nothing happened, which made them both breathe a little easier. Probably just static, he reasoned.

“Pleasure meeting you,” Richie told him, still shaking his hand.

A reluctant smile pulled at his lips, making the dimples Richie had been getting peaks of make an appearance. 

“Pleasure’s all mine, Mr Tozier.” Eddie didn’t loosen his grip, cocking his eyebrow in what Richie took as a challenge. 

“Mr Tozier’s my father,” Richie said, even as Eddie rolled his eyes and smiled harder. 

“Good thing you don’t make a joke podcast,” he quipped, making Richie’s breath literally hitch in his throat, but Stan was pulling him away before he could say or do anything about the blooming feeling in his chest.

“Okay children,” Patty scolded as she steered a slightly dazed looking Eddie back into the conference room and Stan towed Richie to the elevators.

Richie waved a hand in goodbye, with what was surely a smitten smile on his face, and saw Eddie’s returning wave and grin as the doors closed.

-

Later that night everyone gathered at a bar that had recently opened that Bev had been invited to, a thank you from the owner who she designed a dress for. It was modern but not pretentious with good booze, the whole group happily sipping on cocktails and visiting.

“You guys should have _seen_ the way that Stan was mooning over one of the lawyers! Heart eyes emoji _all_ the way!” Richie cackled, finishing off his drink and looking for a waiter to order another.

“Oh, like you have any room to talk. You practically popped a boner as soon as you _saw_ Eddie,” Stan huffed, his cheeks flushed well beyond two glasses of wine could be blamed for.

Richie just shrugged, not even phased, grinning as everyone giggled around him. 

“You guys should have seen this guy!” he told them, giving up and standing up to go to the bar for a drink. “He was like, the _epitome_ of my type,” he said forlornly - gazing dramatically to the ceiling.

“So, twinkish?” Bill asked, trying to keep a straight face before snorting into his drink and making everyone explode with laughter.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys think you’re funny.”

He chuckled before turning to try and weasel his way to the bar. It wasn’t too crowded so he was able to get a spot almost right away, but within seconds was knocked into by a drunk socialite in too high heels. He collided with a man on his right and he scrambled to keep him from falling, apologizing profusely, even as the man cussed him out.

“I’m so fucking sorry dude, I got knocked into an-”

Richie was finally able to see the face of who he had hit and it took a second for his brain to place his identity, but once he did, all he could do was shout with joy.

“Eds!”

“That’s not my name!” Eddie told him, but he looked happy to see Richie too, if not a little surprised.

“What are you doing here?” Richie asked, fingers itching to touch him and adjust his suit that had gotten wrinkled in their scuffle. 

“Drinking. What are you doing here?”

Chuckling, Richie ducked his head, hoping Eddie wouldn’t notice the blush on his cheeks.

“Uh, me and my friends are here having a drink. My friend Bev designed a dress for the owner so she got invited for the opening,” he said with a shrug.

“Oh. That’s cool. Patty always tries to get me to come out so I let her convince me for once.”

As though summoned by her name, Patty appeared at Richie’s elbow and gave him a delighted smile when she saw who he was.

“Oh Richie! We were just talking about you! It’s so crazy to see you here!”

Richie’s eyes snapped to Eddie, whose face was a blotchy red and was making congested noises at Patty, who was ignoring him, tugging on Richie’s elbow. 

“What are you doing here? Is Stan here too?” She stood up on her tippy toys but wasn’t able to see much, even in her moderate heels, but it made Richie smile to know he wasn’t the only one to have it so obviously bad.

“Yeah, I can take you over if you’d like,” he offered, glancing back to Eddie, who was still red faced.

Patty hooked her arm into Eddie’s and tugged on him so they could follow Richie back to their table. It had already been crowded with six of them, but when they arrived, everyone shuffled around so they were all able to sit together, the group generously welcoming the two new guests.

“So you guys work at the firm together?” Mike asked, smiling warmly and engaging Patty in a conversation before Stan could.

Eddie had ended up sitting next to Richie, whether that was intentional or not, he couldn’t be sure, but it was the closest they’d been since they’d shaken hands and Richie found he had an even harder time not wanting to lean into the man and devour him.

“Your friends seem nice,” Eddie told him quietly, leaning a little into his space like he was a mind reader.

“They’re okay,” Richie whispered back.

“I’m glad I let Patty take me out tonight.”

“Yeah?”

Eddie nodded and ran his tongue across his lips. Richie mirrored the motion subconsciously, body already responding to the tiniest hint of sexuality from Eddie.

“Wanna get out of here?” Richie asked quietly, brain not filtering his thoughts before they left his mouth, but luckily Eddie nodded and gave him a smile that made a shiver run down Richie’s spine.

“Hey guys, totally forgot, I left my sink on, gotta go turn it off. And Eddie here is gonna help me.” 

They both stood to leave and everyone rolled their eyes and taunted them playfully, but they were too busy navigating the crowd to pay them much attention. 

Richie started to pull out his phone to call them an Uber when Eddie tugged gently on his wrist and guided him to a sleek black car idling on the curb. They climbed in the back and Eddie introduced Richie to the jovial man in the front, Ray, and they joined traffic to head towards Eddie’s apartment.

“Is this crazy?” Eddie asked him, practically pasted against him, thighs pressing against Richie’s and hot breath on his neck making goosebumps rise on his skin.

“I don’t think it’s crazy. It’s like a zing or a spark right? A something?”

Eddie snorted, leaning his head into Richie’s neck to laugh quietly. “It’s hard to believe you talk for a living.”

They giggled at each other and before he knew what was happening, their lips were meeting softly.

Richie wished he could have said that he played it cool and did the whole seduction bit, but by the time they were stumbling into Eddie’s fancyass penthouse apartment, Richie was already kiss-drunk and rock hard in his jeans.

Eddie pulled and prodded him towards his room, pushing him away when he would say something dumb or dig his fingers into his ribs, only to reel him back in and attach their lips together. It was like a sexy game of cat and mouse and Richie was absolutely hooked.

-

Eventually they were able to get most of their clothes off and clamber into the bed. Eddie had rustled through his bedside drawer and tossed a bottle of lube and a condom at Richie’s chest, then laid himself down and spread his legs around Richie’s thighs so he could pull him closer. He was only wearing his crisp, white, button-up, boxers and a stray sock. Richie was sure, though that he’d never seen anyone sexier - and he’d had plenty of sex - sex was practically his job, and he liked it, was good at it, but he knew somehow that sex with Eddie would be infinitely better. 

He took a steadying breath and peeled the sock and boxers off while Eddie worked on the buttons. Richie took his time as he soaked in the plains of Eddie’s soft skin. There were stark tan lines high on his thighs and low on his hips that Richie couldn’t help himself from running his tongue against, nipping gently and practically purring with satisfaction when he heard a moan from above him.

Before he got to the point of no return, Richie sat up and looked at him seriously. “You sure about this Eds?” 

He knew how badly he wanted it, but he wanted to make sure it really was mutual. This felt like a lot more than a one night stand, or even a casual hook up. Richie had become addicted to the frown lines Eddie got between his eyebrows and the way his brown eyes sparked when he told a really good joke. The way his eyes found Richie’s when Richie’s were already trying to find his.

God, he had it so bad. 

“Point A:” He pointed his finger threateningly at Richie, “Don’t call me that. My name is Edward. Or Eddie, whatever. But _not_ Eds. Point B:” His finger hooked into the waistband of Richie’s boxers and pulled him closer to Eddie’s body, “Yes I’m sure.”

Richie decided to keep quiet for maybe the third time in his whole life, and surged forward to kiss Eddie while he fumbled with the bottle of lube still laying on the bed. He poured too much, making it drip all over them both and the sheets below them. Richie’s finger finally was circling his rim, making Eddie gasp and grind against the digit.

“Oh fuck,” he breathed, fingers scrabbling to find purchase, which he found in Richie’s hair, giving it a firm pull so they could start kissing again.

-

Eddie opened up quickly around Richie’s fingers, but he continued past the point of him being ready, just to keep hearing him curse and moan, occasionally throwing a half formed insult at Richie that just made him laugh.

By the time Richie had the condom on and was smoothing lube over his dick to slide in, they were both panting and red faced. It seemed that antagonizing each other was an aphrodisiac for them. 

“God, Rich. Feels so _good_ ,” Eddie sighed into his neck grinding his ass against Richie making his hips snap forward and a yelp leave his mouth.

“Eds, fuck. You feel so good. You drive me crazy.”

He giggled and it did delicious things to where they were connected. 

“It’s been my pleasure,” Eddie taunted, which earned him a well placed thrust from Richie, which effectively ended all conversation.

-

“I think I’m in love, guys,” Richie told the group as he joined them for breakfast the next morning. 

“Oh, is it Eddie?” Mike asked, ever the romantic, while everyone else rolled their eyes. Richie liked to say he fell in love with baristas who gave him extra whip cream and Uber drivers who let him pick the songs. 

“Yeah, speaking of Eddie, where did you two run off to last night?” Stan asked smugly as he organized the silverware around his plate.

“Why Stanley!” Richie busted out the Southern Belle just because he knew it annoyed Stan the most, “How dare you insinuate I would do something so unladylike.” He paused for effect, fluttering his eye flashes before dropping the act and shooting the whole table a self satisfied smile. “We went back to his place and fucked. It was great.”

He could feel how everyone was smiling at him, and he didn’t bother to hide the blush or pleased smile on his face. “I really like him.”

Stan gave him a stern look before nodding and turning back to his breakfast. 

“Patty says he’s a really great guy. They’ve known each other since law school and have been friends since then. They started the firm together and she said he’s a really hard worker and cares a lot just tries not to show it.” 

“Hmm, doesn’t that sound familiar?” Ben says, nudging him gently.

“Oh, yeah, Patty is great!”

They all started in on Stan about his newly developed crush, but Richie was distracted by his phone vibrating in his pocket. The next was from an unknown number, but upon reading the message, he was delighted to find it was Eddie.

 **Eddie:** _I hope you don’t mind, I got your phone number from Patty, who got it from Stan. I forgot to ask for it before you left last night and I wanted to see you again._

It had been a long time since Richie had dated anyone so straightforward and honest and had to resist clutching his phone to his chest like the lead in a cheesy rom-com. He typed a quick message back, agreeing to meet later that night for a quick drink before turning back to his friends.

Stan was still trying to play off his crush on Patty, but his cheeks were pink and it was obvious he was smitten. Ben and Bev couldn’t even separate their hands long enough to eat their breakfasts, which was doable since they had opposite dominant hands.

Even Bill and Mike looked happy and content, trading small and sweet smiles with each other every chance they had. They weren’t quite at Benverly level PDA, but Richie was happy to see they were heading in that direction. They’d been tip-toeing around each other since they were all just a bunch of tiny losers with scraped up knees and acne. 

Another text from Eddie buzzed in Richie’s pocket and he moved to reply to it but stopped himself, wanting to enjoy things just how they were in that moment, because he had a feeling things were going to be changing, even if their breakfast routine probably wouldn’t any time soon.

“Okay, who ordered extra toast, mine wasn’t burnt enough,” Richie complained, which led to everyone bartering and stealing food - a normal weekday morning for them - and thought about great things already were, and hopefully, how great things were going to be in the future too.

**Author's Note:**

> if you would like this to be a series, or are interested, please let me know (:


End file.
